Santa Singh was walking on the road and
paused to read the graffiti on the wall.
It read "Padne waala gadha.
Santa Singh thought for an hour,
erased it and wrote back,"Likhne waala gadha."
--------------------------------------------------
Mrs. Banta Singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone,
sometimes going on over an hour. One day she hung up after 25 minutes.
"What is the matter today?" asked her husband.
"Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone."
"I got a wrong number," replied Mrs. Banta Singh.
--------------------------------------------------
Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area.
The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence.
"They should not put up such misleading notices,"
said Banta Singh." They said , "FINE FOR PARKING HERE."
--------------------------------------------------
Santa : Praaji , Ise 'beach' kyo kaheete hai ?
Banta : Tumhe nahe pata ?
Santa : Nahe pata.
Banta : Woh to Aasmaan aur Zameen ke beech mein hai esliye eesai beach kahete hai .
--------------------------------------------------
Santa was, very proud of his humour used to say to his wife leaving for the office
'Good bye Char Bacchon ki Maa' .
One day his wife fed up of this answered
'Bye Bye, Doo Bacchon Ke Baap'.
That ended the husband's witticisms.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa ( to doctor ) : Doctor, I have a problem.
Doctor : What's your problem?
Santa : I keep forgetting things.
Doctor : Since when do you have this problem?
Santa : What problem?
--------------------------------------------------
Q.Why does Santa smile when it thunders?
Ans.Because he thinks someone is taking his snap.
--------------------------------------------------
How do you make Santa Singh laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
--------------------------------------------------
What will a Santa do after taking photocopies ?
He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !!
--------------------------------------------------
Santa to Banta : Hey santa ,look at that dead bird.
Banta .. looking up in the sky..... where where .....
--------------------------------------------------
Santa was was on his death bed.
Santa: Where is my wife?
Santa's Wife: I am here.
Santa: Where are my sons?
Santa's Sons: We are here. Dad!
Santa: Where is Banta?
Banta: I am also here.
Santa: Then! who is at the shop.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa:What should we do? The water level has risen above the danger mark.
Banta:Raise the danger level mark up by a few meters.
--------------------------------------------------
How will Santa Singh climb a tree?
He will stand on a corn and wait for it to grow.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa: I have to learn Telugu within 6 months or I will not be able to communicate with my child.
Friend: Is it! Why?
Santa: I have adopted a telugu child and he will start speaking after 6 months.
--------------------------------------------------
Once santa went to a doctor,because his memory was very bad.
Santa:I dont remember anything sir.Not even my name.
Doctor:Since when do u have this problem?
Santa:What Problem?
--------------------------------------------------
Santa singh was sitting on a tree and singing.
Suddenly he turned upside down and again started singing.Banta saw this.
Banta:Why did you turn upside down singing?
Santa:Because now I am singing the'B' side of the cassette.

Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.
--------------------------------------------------
Petrol ke rate badhne par Santa bola: "Menu koi farak nahin penda.
Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon."
--------------------------------------------------
Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!
--------------------------------------------------
Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of.
Pappu: Life imprisonment!
--------------------------------------------------
Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?"
Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library."
Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"
--------------------------------------------------
Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'
--------------------------------------------------
Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?"
Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"
--------------------------------------------------
Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note'
--------------------------------------------------
Santa suffering from cold was shivering. His son called a doc.
Doc: wht happened?
Son: Bimari da ta pata nahun par baapu saver da VIBRATION mode te lagaya hai
--------------------------------------------------
Jeeto & Preeto were talking about their new milkman.
Jeeto: He's very good looking, punctual & dresses so smartly.
And so quickly too!, said Preeto
--------------------------------------------------
While walking in the highlands Santa fell down a deep hole.
Banta: R u ok?
Santa: Yeah!
Banta: Did u break anything?
Santa: No, there's nothing down here
--------------------------------------------------
Santa goes to buy a underwear. On choosing one he asks: How much for this?
Shopkeeper: Rs 500
Santa: Arey bhai daily waer dikhaao, Party wear nahin chahiye.
--------------------------------------------------
Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa waitin at bus stop in UK along with 3 women.
When bus arrived, conductor picked the women & said: No more, no more
--------------------------------------------------
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else.
--------------------------------------------------
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out
--------------------------------------------------
Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.
--------------------------------------------------
Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.
--------------------------------------------------
Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly!
--------------------------------------------------
Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!
--------------------------------------------------
Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When did you start?
Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.
--------------------------------------------------
Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason 2 suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary.
Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform?
--------------------------------------------------
Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons.
1day a pigeon reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call.
--------------------------------------------------
Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.

Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.
--------------------------------------------------
A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...
--------------------------------------------------
Q: Why Santa is standing below the Tube light with an open mouth.
A: Because Doctor has advised him: 'Aaj Light Khana hai!'
--------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u'll die.
Santa: U'll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform?
--------------------------------------------------
Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons.
1day a pigeon reaches Banta without message.
Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa saw a beautiful gal... he went and smooched her.
Gal - What are you doing?
Santa: Law, 4th semester from Punjab University.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa suffering from constipation,
sitting on toilet seat: Ooonh, oooonh, oohh....
nee aaja marjaniye main tenu khan ta ni laga.
--------------------------------------------------
Banta: J tu dasde ki is bag vich ki hai tan sare ande tere,
j tu dasde kine ne tan 8 de 8 tere,
te j tu dasde ki kidhe ne tan oh murgi v teri.
Santa: Koi hint?
--------------------------------------------------
Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman
--------------------------------------------------
Banta was driving down the highway past a sign that said, "Clean Toilets 8 Kms."
By the time he drove eight kms he had cleaned 14 toilets.
--------------------------------------------------
Banta: What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
Santa: The taste.
--------------------------------------------------
Jeeto: Why do Farts stink?
Santa: So that Deaf people can enjoy them too!
--------------------------------------------------
Santa: I’m a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: What’s he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!
--------------------------------------------------
At a football match ground. Santa: Ye log ball nu foot kyun maar rahe ne?
Boy: Goal karan lai.
Santa: Paar ball tan pehlan hi gol hai hor kinni gol karangey.
--------------------------------------------------
/Punjabi
Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."
--------------------------------------------------
Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.
--------------------------------------------------
What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi.
--------------------------------------------------
Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.
--------------------------------------------------
Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly!
--------------------------------------------------
Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!
--------------------------------------------------
Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When did you start?
Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.
--------------------------------------------------
Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason 2 suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary.
Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous.
--------------------------------------------------
Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.
--------------------------------------------------
Banta: Why is the Police nicknamed "The heart of the country"?
Santa: It beats, beats, beats....

Jeeto yelled at Santa: U're gonna b really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!
Santa: Make up ur mind! Which one is it gonna be?
--------------------------------------------------
Santa to Pappu: Where's Sukhna Lake?
Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se bhi nikla karo.
Pappu: Who's Banta?
Santa: Pata nai.
Pappu: Kabhi ghar me bhi raha karo.
--------------------------------------------------
An man and Santa inside the toilet.
man: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.
--------------------------------------------------
Pappu was writing his father's name on a 1000 Watt bulb.
Santa asked him: What are you doing?
Pappu: Aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa waitin at bus stop in UK along with 3 women.
When bus arrived, conductor picked the women & said: No more, no more
Santa: Saaleya Morniya char laiyan, meri wari no more
--------------------------------------------------
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else.
--------------------------------------------------
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out
--------------------------------------------------
Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa: Yaar mein apni girlfriend nu gift dena hai, ki devan?
Banta: Gold ring de de.
Santa: Koi vadi cheez das yaar.
Banta: Tan fer MRF da tyre de de.
--------------------------------------------------
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped - paude thay, Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudon ko pani dal.
Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai.
Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.
--------------------------------------------------
Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long.....!
--------------------------------------------------
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa: Sir hun meri salary wada diyo, mera vyah ho gaye hai.
Boss: Factory de bahar hon wale hadseyan layi factory jimmevar nahin hundi
--------------------------------------------------
Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u? Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya
--------------------------------------------------
Banta asked Santa: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Santa: Very simple, because he is PM not AM
--------------------------------------------------
An man and Santa inside the toilet.
man: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.
--------------------------------------------------
Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey Bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.
--------------------------------------------------
Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long!
--------------------------------------------------
Santa: Why Americans stop printing stamps with photo of Pamela Anderson?
Banta: Coz people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes.
--------------------------------------------------
Banta ek sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
--------------------------------------------------
Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?
--------------------------------------------------
Dress code 4 a party - BLACK TIES ONLY.
Banta goes for the party & is surprised to see that the other guests are wearing SUITS also!

--------------------------------------------------
Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I'll take the money.

Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa sent a SMS to his pregnant wife.
Couple of seconds later he received a report on his phone and he started to dance.
The report said: 'Delivered'
--------------------------------------------------
O yaar hun meri kudi jawaan ho gayi hai, ki karan?
Banta: Karna ki hai, ohnu border te bhej de, saanu jawaanan di badi lor hai
--------------------------------------------------
Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chimar gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao.
Banta: Upaaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz hi kya hai ?
--------------------------------------------------
Jeeto: Kyon ji, tussi gaddi di speed kyon vadha ditti?
Santa: Break fail ho gayi hai, accident hon to pehle hi ghar pahounch jaaiye.
--------------------------------------------------
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That's Tipu's skeleton when he was child
--------------------------------------------------
Banta: Y did u buy ur wife a huge diamond ring for her B'day? I thought she wanted a car.
Santa: She did, but where in the world was I going to find a fake car?
--------------------------------------------------
Napoleon: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my dictionary.
Santa: Taan dictionary vekh ke kharidni si ...!
--------------------------------------------------
Jeeto: Dekho woh admi mujhe ghoor-ghoor ke dekh raha hai.
Santa: Woh to kabadia hai, raddi pe nazar rakhna uski aadat hai
--------------------------------------------------
Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.
Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?
Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai
--------------------------------------------------
Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tenuh eh vi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI
--------------------------------------------------
Santa breaks an egg to make an omelet.
He finds the egg empty.
Gets frustrated & says: Aaj kal murguian bhi abortion karati hain
--------------------------------------------------
Santa: If I die will u remarry?
Jeeto: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Santa: No, I'll also stay with ur sister
--------------------------------------------------
Lady: Time kitna hua hai?
Banta: Bra Panties.
Lady: Time poocha hai Nonsense.
Banta: Time hi to bataya hai 12.35
--------------------------------------------------
Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note'
--------------------------------------------------
Santa suffering from cold was shivering. His son called a doc.
Doc: wht happened?
Son: Bimari da ta pata nahun par baapu saver da VIBRATION mode te lagaya hai
--------------------------------------------------
Jeeto & Preeto were talking about their new milkman.
Jeeto: He's very good looking, punctual & dresses so smartly.
And so quickly too!, said Preeto
--------------------------------------------------
A man to Santa: Ur friend is kissing ur wife in ur home.
Santa rushes home and came back within half an hour n slapped the man n said: He's not my friend.
--------------------------------------------------
Jeeto: Kal raat tum mujhe neend mein tumne mujhe gaaliyan di
Santa: Tumhari galat fahami hai.
Jeeto: Kaisi galatfahami?
Santa: Yehi ki mein soya tha.
--------------------------------------------------
Gal to Banta: Kya shaadi k baad bi tum muje itna pyar karoge?
Banta: Kyon nahin? Mein to diwana hoon shadi-shuda aurton ka.
--------------------------------------------------
While walking in the highlands Santa fell down a deep hole.
Banta: R u ok?
Santa: Yeah!
Banta: Did u break anything?
Santa: No, there's nothing down here
--------------------------------------------------
Santa goes to buy a underwear. On choosing one he asks: How much for this?
Shopkeeper: Rs 500
Santa: Arey bhai daily wear dikhaao, Party wear nahin chahiye.
--------------------------------------------------
Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa sent a SMS to his pregnant wife.
Couple of seconds later he received a report on his phone and he started to dance.
The report said: 'Delivered'
--------------------------------------------------
Santa went to see a gal for marriage.
Their families decided to leave them for some talk.
After some time, Santa asks: Behenji, tusin kinne behen-bhai ho?
Girl: Vaise taan 3 si, par hun 4 ho gaye.

Santa bar vich ro reha si. Bartender: Kyon ro rahe ho?
Santa: Hor ki karan? Main jis kudi da naa bhulna chahunda si usda naam yaad hi nahin aa reha.
--------------------------------------------------
Phone ki ring baji. Santa: Phone mere liye ho to kehna mein ghar pe nahin hoon.
Jeeto phone pe: Wo ghar pe hain.
Santa: Maine mana kiya that...
Jeeto: Phone mere liye tha!
--------------------------------------------------
Santa to a doc: Apne nurse bahut achchi rakhi hai, uska haath lagtey hi mein theek ho gaya.
Doc: Jaanta hoon, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa was writing the passive voice of 'I made a mistake.'
He wrote: I was made by a mistake.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa to his son: I think it's right time we should talk about sex!
Pappu: Sure dad, what do u wanna know...?
--------------------------------------------------
Santa: Oh yaar main badi mushkil mein hoon. Meri biwi mujhse ek pappi ka Ek rupeya leti hai.
Banta: Oh yaar tu lucky hai, auron se to woh 5 rupaye leti hai.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa to Banta: Main apna purse ghar bhool aaya, mainu 1000 Rs chahide si.
Banta: Dost hi dost de kam aunda hai, le 10 Rs, riksha kar te purse le aa.
--------------------------------------------------
Daku Mangal Singh Banta ke ghar mein ghusa aur bola: Sona kahan hai, jaldi bataao
Banta: Pura ghar khali hai malko, jithe marzi so jao!
--------------------------------------------------
A sweet girl goes to Banta's shop and said: Mujhe underwear dikhao.
Banta sharmate hue: Aaj pehan kar nahin aaya.
--------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Pappu, describe digestive system of a human being.
Pappu: Very simple, it starts with right hand & ends with left hand.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa: Tainu tairna aanda hai?
Banta: No
Santa: Tere naalon ta kutte changey ne jehre tair lende ne
Banta: Tenu tairna aanda hai?
Santa: Aaho
Banta: Pher tere te kutte ch ki farak hai?
--------------------------------------------------
Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable.
Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of
Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on Escalators.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa: Yaar meri aankhein dhang se nahin khulti, koi tarika batao.
Banta: Kisi din achanak apne ghar chale jaao.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do, mere dost aa rahe hain.
Jeeto: Kyon! Aapke dost chura lengey? Santa: Nahin, pehchan lengey.
--------------------------------------------------
I can kiss u without even touching u.
Gal: U can't
Santa: Lagi 10-10 ki
Gal: Ok
Santa kisses her lips
Gal: Touch kar liya, touch kar liya
Santa: Aah lai 10 Rs
--------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call a man who can't hear anything?
Santa: Anything you want because he can't hear na!!!
--------------------------------------------------
Santa: Oye, ladki dekh, kitni sohni hai.
Bata: Mujhe to uska naam bhi pata hai.
Santa: Kya naam hai.
Banta: Mein bank gaya tha, vahan yeh ek counter pe baithi thi, name plate pe likha tha: Chaalu Khata
--------------------------------------------------
Pappu: Bapu idhar aa...
Jeeto: Aise nahin bolte beta, daddy ko izzat se bulate hai.
Pappu: Bapu, izzat ke sath idhar aaja.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa n Banta were watchin a cricket match. When Dhoni hits a boundary.
Banta: Kya Goal mara.
Santa: Raha na bewakoof ka bewakoof, Goal ismein nahin cricket mein hota hai
--------------------------------------------------
Jeeto: Sharam aani chahiye, tumhare Banta ki bibi ke saath sambandh hain.
Santa: Sorry, par tumhe kaise pata chala?
Jeeto: Kal Banta aaya tha, usne tumhara underwear pehna hua tha
--------------------------------------------------
Lady Secretary: Sir, it's ur wife's call. She wants to kiss u on the phone.
Santa: Take msg and give me later.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa: What food u feed ur new born baby?
Bautiful young Mom: Breast milk & Orange juice...
Santa: Oye, which side is orange juice?
--------------------------------------------------
Santa: Oye, tera vyah ho gaya?
Banta: Haan
Santa: Kudi naal.
Banta: Oye, munde naal v hunda hai kya?
Santa: Haan, meri sister da hoya si.
--------------------------------------------------
Sharaabi Santa knocks the door of his house. His wife opens the door.
Santa asks: Who r u?
Wife: How dare u forget ur wife?
Santa: Nasha har gam ko bhula deta hai
--------------------------------------------------
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Y r u removin a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'

Santa: Dr. saab, I'm suffering from loose motion.
Doc: Kinni ku patli aundi hai?
Santa: Dr. saab, samaj lao ke tusi us naal Grare kar sakde ho !
--------------------------------------------------
Banta: Life ko kaun zyada achhaa bana sakti hai, Girlfriend ya Wife?
Santa: WIFE. Bas, honi kisi aur ki chahiye!
--------------------------------------------------
Santa ne PCO pe jate hi PCO wale ko 2 thappad laga diye. Socho kyon?
Because PCO ke bahar likha tha, dial karne se pahle 2 lagaye...
--------------------------------------------------
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, "Pappu! What are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "Cartoon Network, Ten Sports, Discovery Channel and Pogo!"
--------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Light Kitho Aandi Hai?
Pappu: Mere Nankeya De Gharon.
Teacher: Kinwe?
Pppu: Jado Light Jandi Hai Papa Kehndy ne ‘Saleya ne Pher cut ti.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa: What’s the name of ur car?
Banta: I don’t know but it starts with "T"
Santa: Kamal hai yaar teri gaddi tea nal start hundi hai, apni te Petrol nal start hundi hai.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa: What is the similarity between Bill Gates n Me?
Banta: Don’t know.
Santa: Well... He never comes to my house & I never go 2 his!
--------------------------------------------------
Santa & Banta are walking down the road when Banta says: Look at that dog with one eye!
Santa covers one of his eyes and says: Where?
--------------------------------------------------
Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Santa: This depends on your husband, if he allows me.
--------------------------------------------------
Jeeto to Santa: Stop looking at girls, u r married now.
Santa: U mean if I am on diet, I can’t look at the menu also?
--------------------------------------------------
Santa to Banta: Name 5 animals living in the water?
Banta: 1 Frog.
Santa: Theek hai hor das?
Banta: Frog da praah, bhen, piyo te maa.
--------------------------------------------------
Banta: Meri biwi mujhe chod ke chali gayi.
Santa: Tu uska khyal nahi rakhta hoga.
Banta: Arre yaar, Sagi behan ki tarah rakhta tha.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa drinking heavily in bar gets up n farts loudly.
Man next 2 him: Excuse me, but u just farted before my wife.
Santa: Sorry, I didn't know it was her turn
--------------------------------------------------
Santa: Qutub Minar kahan hai?
Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se nikla karo.
Pappu: Ram Lal kaun hai?
Santa: Pata nahi.
Pappu: Kabhi Ghar me bhi raha karo.
--------------------------------------------------
Heights of Friendship: Santa commiting suicide, someone asked the reason.
He said: My wife ran with my friend and I can't live without my friend.
--------------------------------------------------
Santa proposing a girl: Darling kya tum mujse shadi karogi?
Girl: Tameez se baat karo.
Santa: Behan ji, kya aap mujhse shaadi karoge?
--------------------------------------------------
Inspector to Santa: Faansi se pehle, bata teri aakhri ichha kya hai?
Santa: Mere pair upar aur sier neeche kar k faansi de do!
--------------------------------------------------
Banta: Saadi teacher kehndi hai ke MAJJ da taja dudh peen nal dimag wadhda hai.
Santa: Oye je ajehi gall hundi taan apna katta ajj IAS officer lageya hunda!
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Santa: I tried ur number so many times, it always said 'Switched Off'!"
Banta: Nooo, it's my HELLO TUNE!
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Beggar: Oh sundari, andha hoon, paanch rupya de de.
Santa to his wife: De de, De de, tujhe sundari bola hai to har haal main ye andha hai.
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Santa: Oye tera vyah ho gya?
Banta: Haan.
Santa: Kuri naal?
Banta: Oye munde naal v hunda hai kya?
Santa: Haan... Meri bhain da hoya si !
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A crow shits on a Banta. Preeto gives tissue paper to him.
Banta: Koi phayda nahin, kauwa toh ud gaya!
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Banta: Jab main paida hua tha to military walon ne 21 topein chalayeen thi.
Santa: Kamaal hai ! Sab ka nishana chook gaya ?
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Santa meets his old friend.
Santa: A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B.
Friend: Oye, iska matlab?
Santa: Kuch nahin yaar, I mean long time no C.
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Santa: Drinking n driving dono nalo naal nai ho sakde.
Banta: Y?
Santa: Je speed breaker aa gaya taa peg dul jau.